The only relationship that I had with God was that He was my genie and sidekick...I only needed God’s help when things weren’t easy.
There was a time when my world was all about me. My main goal was building the kingdom of Sarah. I was trying to be the best at everything I did. Whether it was my sports career, my grades, my relationships, or just looking like I had my life together, I was trying to be the best and find my identity in ME. I grew up going to church with my family. I knew right and wrong, had some understanding of the Bible, knew that Jesus Christ died on the cross. I would pray in church every Sunday or when I needed God’s help. The only relationship that I had with God was that He was my genie and sidekick. I thought I could make myself a better athlete, get the best grades, follow all the rules, and people would think I had it all together. I drew my significance from my relationships. I only needed God’s help when things weren’t easy.
Then my kingdom started to fall. My relationships were falling apart. The boyfriend I thought was the person for me left me. This was a big hit to my kingdom and identity. I started to feel like this world was more than I had made it to be. In fleshly ways I resigned to activity to make God more significant in my life. Then I went off to college and had to do religion and God on my own. It was so much harder then I ever imagined. I wasn’t brave enough to go try churches alone and didn’t have any friends who were willing to go with me. I found Campus Crusade that struck a cord with my heart, but classes in college were getting harder and harder. College track and field was kicking me in the butt. I couldn’t keep up alone. That is when the Lord began a good work in me. In these moments, I saw I couldn’t navigate this life on my own. Along with this realization, He intentionally placed some people in my life who helped point me back to the Father. The most important and influential people were my coaches at the time. They were freely living their lives for the Lord and silently steering and guiding me to Him at the same time.
I came home from college and started attending my old church with my family again, and it really hit me; growing up, I had my relationship with the Father all wrong. He isn’t a genie or a last minute Savior. I was starting to understand it all. He is my Savior and the Lord of my life, and I owe Him my all. My parents were starting to understand my newfound faith and love for the Father and the Son. They were feeling the pull toward a real and right relationship with Him as well. The last and final pull for me to come completely to Father was when my parents and I began attending Apex and Englewood Meadows house church. Through the examples and the love of my house church family, the teachings at the gatherings and the work of the Holy Spirit, I have come to enjoy a deeper relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I eventually testified to my relationship through the waters of baptism alongside my mom.
Now that I have grown to love Christ, I strive to find my identity solely in Him. I don’t need anything else in my life to make me whole. Christ’s hand leads me; instead of seeing him as my copilot, He is the pilot of my life. In His wisdom He guides and directs all areas of my life. He led me to a faithful and loving husband through my house church. I am blessed that through my life He has sparked a spiritual awakening in my parents’ and even my grandparents’ lives.
I am not saying that I never fall or seek to find purpose in myself anymore but through Christ ‘s work of redemption in my life, I am secure in Him. By His Grace alone, even as the apostle Paul said: “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me His own.”
Author: Sarah Maigur